Täna oli imeilus suveõhtu ja me läksime Idaga jalutama, väike hulluke jooksis mööda gågatat nii nagu oleks tal kuhugi kiire ja mul oli raskusi temaga samas tempos püsimisega. Kui me hakkasime Sigrid Undseti platsile jõudma, sain ma aru, kuhu tal kiire oli.
Ta hullas veega nagu oleks see maailma kõige ägedam asi. Aga võib-olla ongi? Kui mõelda, kuidas lastele vesi meeldib. Selles on midagi müstilist. Ma ei keelanud teda, vaid lasin tal lihtsalt pealaest jalatallani koos riietega märjaks saada.
Meist jalutas mööda üks vanem paar. Nad peatusid mu kõrval, tundusid nautivat mängivat Idat ja ütlesid siis: "Pole midagi toredamat kui näha, kuidas üks ema laseb lapsel lihtsalt laps olla, ilma keelamata!"
"Aga täna on ilus soe ilm, see on kõigest vesi ja vaadake kui palju see talle rõõmu valmistab," vastasin mina.
Vanapaar noogutas. "Tõsi, aga kahjuks on liiga palju neid, kes lastele järele jooksevad ja kõike keelavad, Kõik on tänapäeval nii organiseeritud, reeglitega paika pandud, mitte midagi enam ei tohi," arutles naine veidike nukralt edasi. "Me oleme unustanud, mida tähendab laps olla," lisas ta. *
Ma nõustusin naisega. Ma ei saa tihti aru, miks me lastel ühte või teist keelame, miks meie esimene reaktsioon on tihti "ära tee" ja "ei tohi"? Loomulikult ma ei arva, et lastel peaks kõik lubatud olema, vastupidi, ma arvan, et teatud reeglid on lausa hädavajalikud, kuid seni kuni laps ei tee midagi ohtlikku, mille käigus end vigastada või otseselt ei sega kedagi, lõhu midagi, siis miks me kohe keelama kipume?
"Ära jookse!" oleks üks loomulik reaktsioon lapsele järele hüüda. "Aga miks ta ei tohi?" küsin ma endalt. "Ta kukub ja saab haiget," vastab mu kaine mõistus mulle. "Aga kuidas ta siis õpib?" küsin mina. Kas väikesed sinikad ja kriimud ei käi kasvamise juurde? Mina ronisin lapsena puude ja aedade otsas. Ma olin üsna koba ja seetõttu olid mu jalad alatihti tüdrukule mittesobivalt sinised või kriimustatud, aga see kõik käis asja juurde. Me oleme lastena teinud selliseid lollusi, et nüüd ise ema olles jätab mu süda juba praegu lööke vahele kui ma vaid mõtlen, et Ida hakkab ilmselt ka igasugu koerusi tegema. nagu kõik lapsed. Ometigi ei saa me ju kõike keelata. Alati. Kogu aeg.
Sel ajal kui Ida täna veega mängis tuli me juurde veel üks vanem naisterahvas, kes ei suutnud ära imestada, et keegi ometi lapsel nii vabalt mängida laseb. "Seda on lausa lust vaadata," ütles ta ja lisas, et rohkem lapsevanemaid peaks meelde tuletama oma lapsepõlve, mida tähendab, olla laps.
Mida ma alati nagu mantrat korrutan? Lapselik lihtsameelsus - kõige olulisem asi.
*Me jäime selle esimese vanema daamiga pikemalt vestlema. Ma ütlesin talle, et ma ei saa aru, miks öeldakse, et Lillehammeri inimesed on kinnised ja ebasõbralikud, mina kohtan vaid avatud ja sõbralikke inimesi. "Meid on siin mõlemat tüüpi," vastas tema laialt naeratades, soovis mulle ilusat reedet ja ütles, et ju on asi minus, et inimesed nii avatud on. Ma jäin sellele mõtlema. Võib-olla tal oli õigus. Ma siiralt ja südamest püüan keskenduda heale, äkki see paistab välja ja kiirgab tagasi? Või kujutan ma seda lihtsalt endale ette...Tont seda teab.
It was so nice and warm outside in the evening that we decided to go for a little walk. Or I couldn't call it a walk, as Ida was running like she was late somewhere. When we got closer to Sigrid Undset plass I understood why she was running.
They have the coolest little fountains there and children just love it. She was playing with water like it was the best thing on Earth. And maybe it is? When we think of all the children and how they all love water. Something strange about that, isn't it? I didn't forbid Ida and she was wet from top to toe.
An older couple walked by, they seemed to enjoy Ida who was screaming and laughing und running in the water. "There is nothing nicer than to see how a mother lets her child be a child," they said, "and don't forbid it."
"It's nice and warm today, and it's just water," I answered. "Why should I say "no" when it makes her so happy.
They nodded. "True, but unfortunately there are too many parents, who just keep running after their children, saying that they cannot do anything. Everything is so strict and organized today," the lady keeped talking, with a bit of sadness in her voice. "We have forgotten what it means to be a child," she added. *
I agreed. I often don't understand why "don't" and "no" are the first reactions? Of course this doesn't mean that children should be allowed to do everything, not at all, I think we need to have some rules. For example, I mean it is necessary to say to a child "don't put your leg on a plate" (strange sentence to say though) or "don't play with matches", but as long as children are not doing anything dangerous, anything to harm themselves, why do we keep saying "don't" so often?
"Don't run!" is one reaction. "But why not?" I then ask myself. "She could fall and hurt herself," an inner voice tells me. "But how will she learn?" I ask. Aren't bruises part of the growing up process?
When I was little I loved to climb on trees, I wasn't any good in that, so my legs were often bruised and scratched, but it was okay. It was part of the fun. We have done some pretty insane things when children and my heart almost stops beating when I only think about things Ida may do in near future. Like all children. Still we cannot forbid everything. Everytime. Always.
When Ida was playing another lady came to me and couldn't believe someone just let's her child play like this. "It is a pleasure to watch," she said and added that more parents should remind own childhood and what it ment to be a child.
What do I keep repeating like a mantra? Childish innosence - the most important thing!
*We kept talking with this couple and I said I didn't understand why they say people in Lillehammer are not friendly and open, I have only met the nicest people. "Well, there's both kind of people here," she smiled, wished me a good Friday and said it must be me that makes people open up. I started to think about that: maybe she was right? I am trying to concentrate on good things, perhaps it shows and reflects back? Who knows.
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