Mis su tere ka maksab? /Saying "hello" in Estonia

Olles tänaseks Eestist juba aasta eemal, olen ma nii enda, eestlasete kui Eesti kohta üht teist õppinud, see on tegelikult isegi naljakas, kuidas eemalt tundub Eesti hoopis teistsugune. Ma ei taha üldse öelda, et Eesti on üks kole koht elamiseks, ma isegi loodan, et me suudame endale leida Eestis tööd-tegevused, mis meid koju tagasi tooks, kuid seniks räägin ma teile, mis ma emalt vaadates eestlastest arvan.

Eestlased on üks jube morn rahvas. Kas te olete näinud tänaval teile niisama naeratavat eestlast? Ega naljalt ei ole, eksju. Võib-olla Eestis elades ei pane te (me) seda tähele, sest me oleme ise samamoodi mornid, kuid Eestit külastades hakkab see kohe silma. Me sõitsime Idaga rongis, kaks teismelist poissi ajasid omavahel mingit lobajuttu, sellist naljakat naiivset lastejuttu, mille katkestas ühtäkki ühe suvalise tädi noomitus: "Mis te ajate nii rumalat juttu, te olete kõige rumalamad poisid, keda ma näinud olen!" Olgu öeldud, et poisid ei ropendanud ega häirinud kedagi, lihtsalt vestlesid omavahel. Mina tean, et pole viisakas teiste juttu üldse pealt kuulata. Sellega seoses tuleb mulle meelde üks veidi ropp inglisekeelne anekdoot:

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: "Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more.  Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time." "You foul-mouthed swine, " retorted the lady idignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!" "Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'." 

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/ethnicarchive/italianmanjoke.html

Ja siis muidugi teretamine. Mul on tunne, et kui sa ei taha Eestis, et keegi sulle hulluauto järele saadab, siis on õigem mitte teretada.  Näide elust enesest: Oleme Idaga hotellis hommikust söömas, me oleme ainsad inimesed ruumis. Siseneb eestlane, mina ütlen talle tere ja Ida hüüab ülevoolavalt rõõmsalt "heihei!", naine vaatab meile kummaliselt otsa, keerab pea ära ja hakkab hommikusööki taldrikule tõstma nagu meid polekski. Järgmine hetk astub ruumi keegi meesterahvas, nagu selgub välismaalane, sest ruumi sisenedes ütleb ta valjusti "good morning". 

Norras elades olen ma harjunud võõrastele tere ütlema - kui ma tänaval ühte ja sama VÕÕRAST inimest näen kolm korda, siis ma ütlen talle tere, kui ma metsas/tänaval jalutan, ütlen ma vastutulijatele üleüldse automaatselt tere, rääkimata siis poes/hotellis/arsti juures. Nii õudne kui see ka ei tundu, siis ma ütlen võõrastele inimestele ka head aega. Kui me tolles Eesti hotellis olime hommikusöögi lõpetanud, ütlesin ma välismaalasele head aega, kuid eestlasele mitte. Ma ei julgenud, ta ilmselt niikuinii nuputab siiani, et kust ta mind tunneb, et ma talle tere ütlesin, ma ei tahtnud teda ka oma "head aega" ütlemisega šokeerida. Samas ta muidugi lahendas selle olukorra niikuinii niimoodi, et vaatles pingsalt seinas olevat tapeeti, kuni me olime lahkunud. 

Ma ei saa aru, miks see "tere" ja "head aega" Eestis kuidagi nii häbiasi kipub olema? Oskate seletada? Või ei tereta te võõraid? Et see ongi ebaviisakas ja pealetükkiv? 

Umbusklik eestlane minus

I have been away from Estonia for a year now. I actually do not want to complain because whenever I visit Estonia I understand I wish to go back one day. I really hope I will find an income which lets me commute between Estonia and Norway as I feel close to both countries... Oh wait, this was not the topic I wished to discuss today. I wanted to tell you what I find is funny from distance in Estonia.

People are grumpy. I am sure Grumpy Cat must be Estonian, or at least he has Estonian relatives. You never see an Estonian smiling on the street, they turn their heads away when they see someone smiling. It makes them suspicious and it's better to avoid these strange people smiling without a reason.

I took train to Tallinn and heard to teenage boys discussing something, talking silly childish things, but nothing bad. They were interrupted by a lady saying "You are talking rubbish, stop it right away, you silly boys!" The boys didn't disturb anyone, the lady was just grumpy, like a true Estonian. I have actually learned it's not nice to listen to strangers' conversation. The situation reminded me an old joke: 

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: "Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more.  Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time." "You foul-mouthed swine, " retorted the lady idignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!" "Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'." 

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/ethnicarchive/italianmanjoke.html

The other funny thing in Estonia is saying "hello". I have suggestion to you if you are not familiar with Estonian grumpiness. Do not say hello to a stranger in Estonia! If you do, it can easily happen they think you have escaped from a mental institution. Seriously, saying hello to strangers is considered crazy in Estonia. The Estonian way is to turn your head away. We had breakfast in a small hotel, me and Ida were the only people in the room, another guest entered, we said hello. She looked at us, trying to figure out why and then turned her head away. Yes, you don't say hello to a stanger. I think she is still wondering how she knows me. 

Living in Norway has made me say hello to random people on th street, our eyes meet and the logical thing to do is to say hello. Nothing to be ashamed of, nobody looks at me like I'm crazy.

I cannot remember how I felt about saying hello when I lived in Estonia. Did it feel as uncomfortable as it seems to feel to fellow-Estonians?