Friday, September 16, 2011

Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline

*If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
*If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
*If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
*If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
*If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
*If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
*If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.

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