Selleks, et Norras kõige tavalisemat argipäeva natuke vürtsitada, tuleb vaid pangakontot avama hakata.
Mäletate, et mõnda aega tagasi tahtsin ma avada pangakontot ja eeldasin, et netipank on ka automaatselt kaasas pangakontoga? Loomulikult ei olnud ju, nii et mul tuli tagasi pangakontorisse minna, mulle tehti taustauuring, kas ma olen piisavalt usaldusväärne netipanga jaoks ja alles päev hiljem helistati (pmst kõrvalmajast), et panime nüüd avalduse posti, saatke siis postiga tagasi allkirjastatud avaldus (pmst kõrvalmajja).
See kõik sai tehtud ja jäin siis mina naiivselt oma koodikaarti ja pangakaarti ootama. Ei midagi. Etteruttavalt ütlen, et kui mulle helistati, et saatke allkirjastatud avaldus tagasi postiga, öeldi ka, et nüüd läheb veel vaid paar päeva, et kõik on korras.
Nädal hiljem.
Astun pangakontorisse, et uurida, kaugel mu asjad on. "Oi, alles nädal ootate, no nii kiiresti ikka ei lähe," vastab laialt naeratav naisterahvas. Ütlen siis, et no äkki igaks juhuks ikka uurime, kas kõik on korras. Ulatan Eesti id-kaardi. "Oi, välismaalane jah," naeratab naine veel laiemalt ja lisab, "siis läheb küll üks kuu aega kindlasti."
Mingi kõhutunne ütleb mulle, et ei tasu veel ära minna. Ütlen, et ma varasemast juba olen klient.
"Ahaa, sellisel juhul vaatame tõesti uuesti," ütleb teller. Ta klõbistab natuke arvutis ja hüüatab siis: "Ah jaa, näed sa siis, see avaldus ootab Teie allkirja ja fotot!" (Kui te siinkohal arvate, et keegi mulle sellest teada oli andnud, siis te eksite rängalt.) "Teeme siis selle pildi ära!"
Ma heidan pilgu peeglisse ja näen sealt endale vastu peegeldamas totaalset trammiõnnetust. Haige ja oksendava Ida kõrvalt ei ole ma just liiga palju magada saanud, mu silmaalused on kottis ja sinised, juuksed pesemata ja suvalises hobusesabas, jope kurguni kinni tõmmatud.
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| Umbes selline saab olema foto mu pangakaardil |
"Jope tuleb vist eest lahti teha," ütleb teller. Muidugi, mõtlen mina oma mõttes, sest otseloomulikult on mul seljas pluus, kuhu Ida mõned minutid varem mustsõstramoosi peale ajas. Muidugi juhtub vaid minuga, et ma pean sellise välimuse ja rokase pluusiga (Karma oma titemammade rääbaka välimuse ja täisoksendatud pluuside eest, eks?) fotoaparaadi ette astuma. Ma vaatan pilti, mille ta valmis klõpsab ja ohkan häälekalt.
"Mis Te ohkate," ütleb teller, "te olete väga kena ja fotogeeniline!" Ma naeratan viisakalt. Valetada nad oskavad. "Kas teeme uue pildi?" küsib ta. Ma raputan pead ja ütlen, et ega ma paremaks ikka ei lähe. Pigem muutun ma iga minutiga veel vanemaks ja närtsinumaks. Me naerame.
Pangakaart saab LÕPUKS tellitud. "Ma usun, et ehk reedeks on see Teil käes?" ütleb teller. Targalt unustab ta täpsustamata, milliseks reedeks. Tark lüke. Norra puhul võib see olla see reede või reede järgmisel jaanipäeval.
Igaks juhuks küsin, et kuidas selle netipangaga on. "Just nagu oleks saadetud," ütleb teller. Ma tänan vastuse eest. Koduteel mõtlen, et võib-olla oleks pidanud küsima, et ega selle jaoks pilti pole vaja. Siis oleks vähemalt kõik mu Norra dokumendid ühtemoodi fotogeeniliselt kaunid.
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To spice up life in Norway you do not need to do anything but open a bank account. A week ago I did so. Or at least I thought I did. I also thought when opening a bank account one automatically receives access to internet bank. I was wrong. After some phone calls the next day I found out I needed to go back to the bank office. At the office I got information that they need to do background reasearch to find out if I am reliable enough to have an internet bank (although I already am a bussiness customer at this bank). A day later I got a phone call that an application has been send to me by post (from builidng next door) and I have to send it back by post ( to a building next door).
Just to make it clear they also said in phone now it only will take a couple of days before I get the debit card and internet banking codes. By post.
I walk into bank office to check how far things are. "Oh, but it has only been a week!" the lady in the office smiles. I still ask her to check if everything is okay (I have learned that in Norway it's better to ask that believe the answers you get). I hand my Estonian id-card. "Oh, but you're a foreigner," she smiles even wider, "then it takes at least a month!"
I get a feeling that I should not be satisfied with this answer. I tell her I already am a bussiness customer and she agrees to check the status of my card. "Well, look at that, you're application IS missing a photo and a signature!" (If you think someone had told me that, you are wrong).
To spice up life in Norway you do not need to do anything but open a bank account. A week ago I did so. Or at least I thought I did. I also thought when opening a bank account one automatically receives access to internet bank. I was wrong. After some phone calls the next day I found out I needed to go back to the bank office. At the office I got information that they need to do background reasearch to find out if I am reliable enough to have an internet bank (although I already am a bussiness customer at this bank). A day later I got a phone call that an application has been send to me by post (from builidng next door) and I have to send it back by post ( to a building next door).
Just to make it clear they also said in phone now it only will take a couple of days before I get the debit card and internet banking codes. By post.
A week later.
I walk into bank office to check how far things are. "Oh, but it has only been a week!" the lady in the office smiles. I still ask her to check if everything is okay (I have learned that in Norway it's better to ask that believe the answers you get). I hand my Estonian id-card. "Oh, but you're a foreigner," she smiles even wider, "then it takes at least a month!"
I get a feeling that I should not be satisfied with this answer. I tell her I already am a bussiness customer and she agrees to check the status of my card. "Well, look at that, you're application IS missing a photo and a signature!" (If you think someone had told me that, you are wrong).
"Let's take the photo then!" she says. I look at the mirror and I see a train wreck. Ida has been sick and I haven't had too much sleep, there are dark blue bags under my eyes, my hair is dirty and in a ugly ponytail. I look like Britney Spears in her bad days. You know, before she shaved off her hair. My t-shirt has black current juice spots on it. Of course, this can happen only to me that I have to take a document photo looking like hell (is it karma for critizising the looks of desperate housewives?). I look at the photo that will be on my bank card. Bloody hell, do I really look like this? Who let me out of the house looking like that?
Well. There's nothing to do now anyway. At least I have the necessary procedures done. "You will probably have the debit card by Friday," the lady says. She's a smart lady. She doesn't say WHICH Friday. It can be this week or in next June.
"And everything is okay with the internet bank?" I ask. She nods. On my way home I start to think maybe I should have asked if they need a photo for internet bank access as well. Or some other information. They don't tell you these things in Norway themselves.
Well. There's nothing to do now anyway. At least I have the necessary procedures done. "You will probably have the debit card by Friday," the lady says. She's a smart lady. She doesn't say WHICH Friday. It can be this week or in next June.
"And everything is okay with the internet bank?" I ask. She nods. On my way home I start to think maybe I should have asked if they need a photo for internet bank access as well. Or some other information. They don't tell you these things in Norway themselves.
Will see what happens in a week. Then I'll go and ask again.
ja mulle öeldi eelmisel talvel, et pildiga kaarti välismaalastele enam ei anta (kuigi mul on norra isikukood täitsa olemas)... :)
ReplyDeleteNo aga võib ju juhtuda, et nädala pärast kui midagi juhtunud pole ja ma uuesti uurima lähen, saan teada, et välismaalane ei saa pildiga kaarti:D
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