Kohutavas vaesuses elamine /Living in awful poverty

 Eelmise postituse kommentaar, et "aga kas sa ei karda, et kui sa kirjutad kõigile, et elad kohutavas vaesuses, võlgu. Oled sügavas depressioonis, ärritud kergelt (vb eneselegi ohtlik)..." pani mind mõtlema. Just selle "kohutavas vaesuses ja võlgu elamise kohta". 

Esiteks ma ei häbene seda, et meil on hetkel rasked ajad, selle nimi on elu ja nö valed otsused, midagi pole teha. Minevikuga. Tuleviku nimel me pingutame. Näiteks mõtlen ma pea iga nädal selle peale, et järgmisel aastal samal ajal ei ole mul üht suurt laenu. Laenu, mis hetkel tekitabki olukorra, et mul on kuu lõpus rahakotis 3,20. 

Ja "kohutavaks vaesuseks" on meie elu natuke liialdus ikka nimetada. Ma mõistan täna väga hästi, mida mu sõbranna mulle ütles, kui kirjutas, et "mulle meeldis teie lihtne elamine ja uus sina, kes on rohkem sina" - ma mõistan neid sõnu väga hästi ja elan aina rohkem nende järgi. See ei tähenda sugugi, et ma tahaksin öelda, et raha ei ole elus tähtis. Nii "diip kunstiinimene" ma ei ole. Tegelikult on selles osas maailm must ja valge. KÕIK probleemid ERANDITULT saavad alguse rahast. Aga siis on see teine pool elust - see pool, mis koosneb hetkedest, sõpradest, pisiasjadest. Selle poole pealt on ilmselt raske leida õnnelikumat inimest kui mina. Mul on KÕIK olemas. Ma olen selliseid pilte varem pildiraamatutes näinud, nüüd on meil võimalus ELADA pildiraamatus. Ma kavatsen nautida sellest iga hetke, sest ma ei tea, võib-olla see on once in a lifetime võimalus. Isegi meie kodupood on nagu pildiraamatust. 

Ja nii me elamegi. Kohutav vaesus + täielik rikkus. 

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A comment from last post, where I was asked "if I am not afraid  if I tell everyone that we are living in awful poverty and I am depressed, I will have problems". I answered to the comment also that there is nothing to be afraid of. I am not dangerous or sick in a uncurable way, I am just tired, because too many things have happened during last two years, and I need help to sort things out, to get back on my feet. 

But to say that we live in "awful poverty" is an overstatement.  I am not ashamed to say that these are financially difficult times, wrong decisions have lead to this, and we have to deal with it, but I honestly must say I am happy that we dared to try make our dream come true. We were with little experience and made wrong choices, but we tried, and if I think back on things I am happy for everything we did. We cannot change the past, but we are working on making the future brighter. If not for our sake, it's for Ida's sake. She has been our sunshine during the last days and deserves ONLY the best. 

I have seen photos like these below on picture books before, but you know, at the moment WE ARE LIVING IN A PICTURE BOOK. Even our homeshop is satumainen, our yard is satumainen, everything together is satumainen, and I am enjoying these moments while we have the oppertunity. TMaybe it is once in a lifetime oppertunity to experience Norwegian winter and summer in this way. I don't know. Perhaps from autumn we are back in Estonia. But to have this picture book life AT THE MOMENT  makes me the happiest and richest person there is. 

Of course this doesn't mean I want to say money is not important. Of course it is. This part of the world is quite simple and black and white. ALL problems start with money. No exeptions. If you have too much or too little - both have it's downsides. 

And that is how we live at the moment. Awful poverty + richness. 

Poes on olemas armas mängunurk (kust Ida karu kaasa shoppama kutsus. Keegi ei pahandanud)

See on meie koduPOOD